I Have Someone Else's Body

Monday, March 25, 2013 6:30 PM - Day 2 of new blog

I have somebody else's body.

I'm not sure exactly when it happened, but I do not look like myself.

I was one of those women everyone got annoyed with. I could eat ANYTHING I wanted and never gain a pound. I was always thin. Lou used to call me a "jaguar":)))

I remember when I turned 30 I started to notice some weight gain from food but nothing too serious. In fact it was kinda nice. I didn't seem so lanky. It gave me a little cushion. But I still looked like myself.

Throughout my 30's I was happy with my looks. I did some modeling, I wore sexy clothes, all was well. And, I could still enjoy eating what I wanted. And since I LOVE food, all was well.

Then my 40's came. OMG, what a realization. I cannot eat whatever I want and I cannot fit in my clothes. Granted, some of these clothes were from high school, but it's the principle here that I'm highlighting! What's with this belly???

For the past 5 years I've been trying to lose the same 15 pounds with no luck. I eat really healthy food. I cut out sugar and desserts. I started juicing. I take vitamins, supplements and weight loss herbs. I've done liquid diet days. I've fasted. I've gone low carb as well as strict vegetarian. No weight loss.

Last year I exercised 5-7 days per week for 1 hour a day with a walk/run. I did this from June-October. No weight loss.

Now, I know many people would say I don't have to worry about my weight, I look great. There are friends of mine who have 10x the amount of weight to lose than I do. But for some reason, it's that 15 pounds of mine that won't budge, and that's my endless frustration.

Last weekend I finally surrendered to my weight and started buying clothes the next size up. This was a bittersweet decision. Having new clothes is NICE! Having extra "padding" is NOT.

So I decided to practice my Living Stress Free® advice and honor myself exactly the way I am. This is me at 47. Acceptance and love. Acceptance and love.

This quote sums it up for me today:

Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God.
Ram Dass

Here's an article I wrote last year about my 7-Day juice fast - My Experience of a Seven Day Juice Fast
(the photo is not a current one .. lol)

I'll be back tomorrow. If you can relate to my frustrations write me!

Marilyn