I would imagine it's rare to hear a clinical therapist describe what it's like to perform the professional responsibility of listening. I thought I would comment on that today.
First off, nobody becomes a therapist for their lifelong career unless they enjoy people and enjoy listening. This is very true for me. I love the uniqueness of people - their different personalities, their "quirkiness", the way people perceive life in such fascinating ways.
I'm reminded of one of my favorite movies - "As Good As It Gets" - in which Simon the painter says "if you watch someone long enough you begin to see their humanity". I have experienced the same is true for listening.
One of the complications of listening for a profession is that the mind is not an endless receptacle for processing information. It needs breaks. Especially when a person is mindful about listening, giving someone their full attention. The receptacle fills even faster!
I've struggled with problem solving this dilemma throughout my years working as a therapist. I think I've found a balanced approach. Here are some of my solutions:
- I limit the number of people I see each day. It took me YEARS to stop myself from seeing more people than I can handle. My secretary keeps me in line now. No more than 5 per day.
- I return phone calls at the end of the day. When I schedule a small block of time for this, at a consistent time of day, I can prepare my "listening mind" for taking in the information. Also, many people solve their own problems while the day progresses and discover they didn't need me at that moment! whew;)
- I use email to communicate as often as possible because it is less draining than listening.
- When I'm on-call and have increased "listening" duties, I take more time to complete my other personal responsibilities. I slow down and I take more "Me-time" to replenish my drained energy.
- I listen without judgment or bias. Judgment and bias are energy-drainers. They deplete your natural listening ability.
See you all tomorrow.
Marilyn
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